Khushi was still shaking from Shyam's words, she hadn't gone back downstairs from fear that she would run into him. It was the evening now and Arnavji had left the room shortly after Shyam had, leaving Khushi alone with her thoughts. Once the function was over Jiji, Anjali Di and Naniji all came to check on her and she lied saying her head was hurting and she just wanted to sleep so nobody would disturb her. She wanted one person to disturb her, to come sit with her, hold her hand, look into her eyes and comfort her but he never came. She was sat on their bed twisting and turning her mangulstra, simply contemplating how strange her relationship with Arnavji was. One minute she was someone he could joke and flirt with and the next she was someone who's face he didn't even want to see. It was different for her though, angry, sad or happy she wanted to share it with Arnavji but he always would turn away, almost as if...as if he were afraid. The great ASR fears nothing but Khushi's Arnavji did, he feared letting his walls down, he feared intimacy, he feared happiness as it was so often taken away so quickly and so he was afraid of Khushi herself as she was the one who bought happiness back into his life, the one who broke down his walls and now was attempting to be intimate with him. Was it so wrong to want that? Khushi recalled how he never feared hugging Lavanyaji when they were together, in fact on numerous occasions he showed how much he loved Lavanya right in front of Khushi. The pain of those memories still cut like nettles to her heart. Khushi didn't want to be alone in her life anymore, everyone had someone to confide in excluding Arnav and Khushi and so logically they should confide in one another. Arnav walked through the bedroom door with a plate in his hands, Khushi quickly wiped her eyes and was about to go to the bathroom to clean her face as she must have looked a mess but Arnav's voice stopped her.
"Rukh." He said simply and she didn't dare move a muscle from the bed. He walked over to her with the plate which Khushi now gathered had food on it. He sat beside her and began to break apart the roti and dipped it in the daal, he held it up to Khushi's mouth but she couldn't quite fathom what he was doing.
Arnav sighed deeply. "Khushi, you haven't eaten anything since this morning, apna mou khol." He said matter of factly. Khushi's eyes were beginning to well up but she opened her mouth and allowed him to feed her. He was trying, he was really trying. If he wanted he could have told her to go eat, or just bought the plate up instead and not bothered with this. But the fact that he was sat down feeding her to make sure she eat was his own strange way of saying, "I'm sorry, I do care. I just don't know how to say it." He was such a Bholu, she thought to herself and then she realised she hadn't seen him eat since this morning either. Arnav was about to feed her some more when she grasped his arm forcing him to stop.
"Tumne khana kaliya?" Khushi asked and Arnav shook his head, Khushi broke some of the roti, dipped it in the daal and lifted it towards his mouth. Once again her Bholu looked confused and she shook her head trying not to laugh. "You need to eat also, chaalo mou khol." She said and he did so not resisting. They carried on like this until they had finished eating, Arnav grabbed one of two napkins he'd carried in with him and handed it to Khushi, they cleaned themselves up and Arnav took the plate to put it in the Kitchen. Khushi decided since Arnav had made an effort she would also reciprocate.
"Arnavji." She said, still sat on the bed, he turned slightly sideways so that she was in his eye-line.
"Hmmm." He said, Khushi got up and kissed him on the cheek.
"Thank you." She said and she practically ran to the bathroom to have a shower, a broad grin across her face. Arnav closed his eyes and took the moment in, it felt just like when they'd had their first kiss only a few days ago, although this time neither could hide behind the pretence of a bet and that made it harder. Khushi was unaware that Shyam had been watching their interaction this whole time, Arnav was aware though and he had done this all to provoke Jeejaji. He realised he was giving Khushi the wrong idea but it seemed like the only way. Khushi clammed up in Shyam's presence, his anger and obsession with her frightened her. If Arnav were to suggest to Khushi that she purposefully provoke Shyam...Arnav felt she wouldn't be able to do it. The kiss had caused Shyam to storm off to some corner to spew his evil thoughts and Arnav was now alone in his room as Khushi was in the bathroom. Arnav couldn't help but feel himself feel happier and lighter after his tender moments with Khushi. Khushi bought out a softer, sweeter, calmer and almost innocent side of Arnav out that he had long forgotten.
Why did she have to do that? Why did he have to care for her? Could Shyam not have found another girl to pursue? Why did it have to be Khushi? Why?! WHY DAMMIT WHY?! Arnav didn't even realise when he'd thrown the plate at the wall, he only broke out of his anger when he heard it smash. He went to go pick up the pieces there was one half that was intact but the other half had smashed into tiny shards. Arnav collected the smaller pieces and placed them onto the larger half that was intact. Becoming lost in thought again, Arnav had lost his Di to that man, a man who didn't deserve her, a man who didn't even care for her. Shyam was sorely mistaken if he thought Arnav would let his Khushi walk into that man's arms. He wouldn't and he would rid him from his Di's life. Even if it did breed confusion between Arnav and Khushi it would be worth it in the end...the end, what happens when they show everyone Shyam's reality? Khushi is free to go and she probably will go when she realises that Arnav is doing this all to get Shyam to speak the truth. Then Arnav will be alone again...he will have no Khushi. His feelings for Khushi were deep but he doubted he could give her what she wanted. Even now when they were married she still sat in their room crying, this was not how newlyweds were meant to behave. She deserved to be happy even if he couldn't. Maybe in this short time he could be the reason for her happiness but afterwards....he just didn't know. Arnav felt something pierce his palm and a pained groan escaped his lips. Khushi was by his side instantly, pulling his hand into hers. She was looking at the blood draining from Arnav's cut with such pain as if it was her blood bleeding instead of his. She took the plate out of his hands and got up pulling him by the arm. She placed him on the bed calling Hari Prakash, she told him to get the first aid box quickly and then clean up the plate once he'd done that. HP bought the First Aid kit and Khushi sat beside Arnav cleaning his wound, muttering about how careless he is and how if anything were to happen to him how would everyone feel? How would she feel? Arnav just watched her in awe, this poor girl really loved him didn't she? Why though? Why did she love him, all he'd ever done is bring pain into her happy life, why did she love him? Arnav groaned deeply as Khushi pulled out the plate shard out of his hand and as she grabbed the bandage Arnav could see that she felt his pain. Why was she so caring? Why couldn't she just hate him and make things easier for them both? When she was done she ordered he go straight to bed and warned him if he went on his laptop with that hand that there would be no greater wrath to face then that of hers.
Arnav went to go make his makeshift bed when Khushi gently pushed him back onto the bed.
"You didn't hurt your head as well did you?" Khushi asked and Arnav got confused.
"Khushi, what the-?" Arnav said.
"What the-? What the-? Nahi chalega. I said this morning that you're not to sleep on that floor, one your back was hurting this morning and now your hand is injured, you're sleeping here. I don't care what arguments you have, you sleep on one side and I'll sleep on the other, I could fit three more people in this bed if I wanted!" Khushi said over passionatley.
"Khushi." Arnav said in a low voice, attempting to warn her that it was not a good idea.
"Khushi, Khushi kuch nahi! Mein kuch nahi jaanti, baas tum yahaan soyenge aur hum vahaan. Otherwise I will complain to Naniji. Then we'll see what you do!" She said and Arnav shook his head, she really was impossible. Arnav got up to get changed and Khushi got into bed. He got changed and slid into his side of the bed. Although it was doubtful he would sleep, he was too aware of the situation, his mind was racing with all kinds of things, how he would continue on with Khushi without hurting her too much, how to reveal to everyone Shyam's truth, what was Shyam planning now and how could he keep Di and Khushi safe? He was consumed by these thoughts until Khushi rolled over and wrapped her arm around Arnav, nuzzling her head into his chest. His breathing stopped for a minute, unsure of how to react. He didn't want to move her in case she woke up and so he put one arm around her and exhaled continuing to breath normally again. Amazing, even in her sleep Khushi managed to lighten Arnav's tension. Instead of worrying about the problems tomorrow would bring Arnav focused on his wife, how beautiful she was and how she was his. Arnav closed his eyes and held Khushi slightly tighter as he drifted off into a calm sleep.
Read other parts to this here.
No comments:
Post a Comment