Dark Paradise Chapter Fifteen

Arnav had been sedated due to his violent reaction when the doctors had separated him from Khushi, once he woke up his head felt groggy and he had very little sense of his surroundings but he knew Khushi wasn't with him and that was not okay. He made his way to get up when Anjali pulled him back onto the bed.
"...Di...?" Arnav murmured confused, his eyesight began to improve and he could see her crying. He pushed against her to get up.
"No, Chotte, wait a while you've been unconscious for a day you need to let your body catch up with you." Anjali protested. A day? He'd been out of it for a whole day, Anjali registered the confusion on her brother's face. "Every time you woke up you became violent, they wouldn't let you see Khushiji...and...you began hitting your hands against the wall...they became swollen, you were going to start on your head but because of the injury they had to put you back to sleep. I'm just glad you are calmer now." Anjali said wiping her tears away. Arnav understood her words and looked down at his black and blue hands which had specks of red from cuts. "Di, I want to see Khushi. Is she okay? Is she awake?" Arnav asked remembering how limp and lifeless she had been in his arms and how he couldn't do a damn thing to help her. Anjali couldn't hold back her tears, she wasn't strong enough, first she got in an accident and now her brother and sister-in-law, why was God punishing them?
"Di, why aren't you saying anything? Where's my Khushi?" Arnav asked becoming more restless and more worried, the fear of loss began to flow through his body.
"Chotte...Khushi lost a lot of blood...." Anjali began but didn't know how to continue, just from that she could see the colour drain from her brother's face, the light leave his eyes and the worry began to mar his face. "Her injuries are more serious than yours as the impact of the accident affected her side of the car more. She has head injuries and...and...the doctors aren't sure if she's going to wake up." Anjali said, she couldn't bare to look at her brother's face. But how could Arnav escape what he was feeling? The rage, the sadness and worst of all the helplessness. He pulled the covers off and got up only to stumble, Anjali caught him. "Chotte, yeh...?"
"NO Di! She needs me. Don't stop me." He said pulling away from Anjali mustering all his strength to go to his Khushi, his Jaan, his everything.

Arnav had to argue a little but he was allowed to go see Khushi, his family members were all in the waiting area. Arnav had seen Payal who looked as though she'd been crying for months and hadn't slept in months either. Akash mirrored his wife's state, Nani sat dejected in a corner with Mami who looked upset also needing Mama to console her. Khushi's parents were both crying as was her Bua but Arnav couldn't think of them and what they needed. There was only one person he knew needed him and that was Khushi. He walked in and his eyes cast down on what appeared to be the ghost of his wife. She lay in the bed, eyes closed, an oxygen tube lodged in her throat, IV's and drips hung from her wrists. Arnav fell to the ground at the sight of it. Her face was covered in tiny scratches and her body was bruised. "K-k-k-khushi." He murmered as he broke down. The tears fell hot and fast and he didn't feel ashamed he felt lost. Where was his wife? This couldn't be her? Not his Khushi, his Khushi ran around like a five year old, she was always smiling and so full of life. This person was...was practically dead. He got up and made his way to her, silence. How many times had he told her to shut up? Get out? Go away? But she never did and now, when she wasn't saying a word, when she was far away from him and doing exactly what he'd said all those times he realised how badly he needed her. He sat beside her, he hesitantly placed his hand on hers.
"Khushi." He said softly, no response, only the gentle ticking and beeping of the machines. "Khushi, wake up." He whispered desperately. Still nothing. "Khushi why are you doing this? Is this because I didn't say thank you? If you wake up I will." He said but Khushi didn't even flinch. "Khushi stop being stubborn and wake up. Fine I'll say it. Thank you Khushi, thank you so much for being a part of my life. Not just a part of it but for being my life. Khushi you were the one who taught me how to live and feel again. You taught me how to love and I cannot thank you enough times for that!" Arnav said becoming overwhelmed by feelings.
"But Jaan-" His voice began to crack at this point as his sadness overwhelmed him. "I can't live without you, I love you. There I said it. I've wanted to say it since Diwali, I wanted to say it at the Sangeet, I wanted to say it at the Mehndi, Haldi, Havaan, Wedding and everyday since! I will say it everyday but please Jaan, come back to me...." He said, he clung to her hand, tears falling onto their entwined hands, but Khushi did not stir from her deep slumber. Arnav couldn't understand Khushi always did what she was told, why wasn't she now? Why wouldn't she wake up?
"KHUSHI! DAMMIT WAKE UP!....wake up....please..." Arnav said but he knew his pleas were falling on deaf ears. The peons got in and began to remove him.
"No! Stop it! She needs me! I need her! STOP! KHUSHI! KHUSHI!" Arnav shouted until he could not longer see her.

Arnav's voice had turned hoarse and ragged by the evening as he had cried painful laments all day. It was his fault! Why had he taken her out? Why hadn't he paid attention to the road? Why hadn't he checked the car? It was his fault she was on that bed, hardly even clinging to her life. Khushi...Khushi was dying. Anjali had assured him that they were doing everything and that if God wanted she would get better. So in the dead of the night when Di had fallen asleep in the chair next to him, Arnav crept out of his room. He found a small Devi Maiyaa Mandir in the hospital. For the first time since he was fifteen Arnav Singh Raizada put his hands together and bowed his head in front of God.
"I know I am the last person whose prayers you would grant....but I'm not asking for me. I'm asking for my wife, Khushi. She has adored and worshipped you always. There is no one more deserving of your protection than her. So where were you today? Why did you do this to her? Why not me? I'm the one who never believed in you, so why am I okay? Why do I only have a few bruises and cuts whereas she's on death's doorstep?! I promise you that if you make her well again I will do right by her. I will never hurt her or upset her. I will put her need above mine always. Just please, please make her better...I can't live without her." Arnav begged and before anyone could see his moment of weakness, he returned to his room and lay in the shadows of the night, feeling the deep absence of Khushi's head upon his chest.
"Please." He murmured once more into the darkness.


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